This Australian IG Account Documents Ugly Houses In Melbourne, And They Are So Bad, It’s Hilarious (89 Pics)

Posted by admin on October 13, 2021

Not everything in Australia is "upside down". Sure, their Christmas is in the summer and they might have a BBQ to celebrate it, but in some ways, they're just like us Northern Hemisphere folks. Our fascination with bad architecture, for example, is equally obsessive.

Turns out, the Irish, Belgians, and Dutch aren't the only ones shaming their native buildings on Instagram. There's an account called Ugly Melbourne Houses doing precisely the same on the other end of the world.

Taste is universal. I know. But ironically, it's what allows this online project to make fun of the houses it wants to. Here are some of them!

More info: Instagram

#1 Amy's Winehouse

#2 How's Everyone's Week Been? Chaotic? Jumbled? Overly Complicated? Yep. Me Too

#3 They Forgot The Plaster Lions

#4 Proudness Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I'm Feeling After Receiving This Piece Of Moderne Arte Collage In My Inbox

#5 Picasso's Lovechild

#6 Melborgian "Trying To Take Your Underpants Off Without Taking Your Trousers Off First" Robot Moderne

#7 When You Really Need A Haircut After Lockdown

#8 Every Time I Try To Build A Custom Sims House

#9 Cheeky Brick Butt Cheeks Wrapped In An Oh-So-Saucy Garter Belt Portico

#10 Everybody Who Lives Here Loves Maths

#11 Hang On. Wait... What?! Your Therapist And Your Massive Inflatable Santa Supplier Are The Same Person?!

#12 If Large Cars = Small-Membered Owners, What On Earth Does This Symbolise?

#13 Anyone Got An Id On This LEGO Set?

#14 Those Aren't Balconies, They’re Actually Hay Feeders For Giraffes

#15 How’s Everyone’s Week Been? Exciting With Lots Of Variety? Or Just Pretty Much Exactly The Same With Very Slight Shades Of Difference

#16 Cloudsome

#17 Knit My Bricks Up

#18 The Hills Have Eyes

#19 Some Cardboard Boxes On A Rocky Outcrop

#20 Intergalactic Evil Mammoth Boxy Square Bonnet Wearing Robot Worm Computer Mansion

#21 Wizard's Spaceship Marina Rocket Discoteque Pants Hot Tub Balcony Time Machine Post Moderne

#22 Life Is Just About Trying To Do The Very Best You Can Do With The Size Of Window That You Have

#23 When A Friend Doesn't Invite You To Their House And You're Really Quite Relieved About It Actually

#24 Perfectly Pitched For A Neighbourhood Near You

#25 That’s A Serious Sixpack

#26 It Looks Like A Shower

#27 High Tight Brick Pants

#28 The Correct Amount Of Miniature Grand Ceremonial Arch

#29 1980s Beige Tubular Trouser Slacks Columns Giraffe Compliant Accounting Conference Centre Post Moderne

#30 Adidas Tracksuit Pants Moderne

#31 This House Never Skips Column Day

#32 How's Everyone's Week Been? Inexplicably Complicated? Full Of Giant Setbacks? Lacking Any Real Over-Arching Logical Thematic Or Stylistic Aesthetic Direction? Yeh Mine Too

#33 Business In The Front, Party In The Back

#34 Mary Poppins’ Lsd Dreamland Winky Wonky Summertime Lovin’ Peculiar Palazzo-A-Palooza

#35 Seamlessness-Ness

#36 A Short Time Ago, In A Suburb Not That Far Far Away

#37 I Think They Could've Squeezed Another One In

#38 Incomplete Spacestationist Moderne

#39 All Roads Lead To Somewhere In South Australia

#40 Golden Graytime Jazzercise Spacesuit Jumpsuit Wangle Angle Window Panels A La Clipped Clop Shrubbery-Au-Go-Go

#41 Maison De La Razor Sharp Deep Space Accountant’s Lunchtime Workout Shellsuit Tracksuit Jumpsuit Pants Suit A La Angles De La Bangles

#42 Nuthin Ron With This

#43 Barbie's Dream House

#44 Name A More Iconic Intergalactic Retro Bricky Orangey Deep Fried Space Duo, We'll Wait

#45 A Prickly Situation Waiting To Happen

#46 We All Need A Friend Who's Always There To Temporarily Support Your Facade

#47 Something Something Windows

#48 It Helps Steer The Eye Away From The 50's Kitchen Table Laminate Facade

#49 Giants Also Need Homes

#50 Gold Coast House Of The Year

#51 And On The Eighth Day, The Awlmitey Created Faux Neo Baroque Open Roller Disco Porticos

#52 Caravan Of Courage

#53 Robot Winter Is Coming

#54 The Absolute Bare Minimum Amount Of Quite A Lot Of House

#55 2021 Is Gonna Be All About Making Things That Look Like They Shouldn't Be That Complicated Look Slightly More Complicated Than Less Complicated Versions Of A Far More Complicated Version Of Their Most Complicated Self

#56 Aqua Marina Moque Tudor Wizard

#57 Nice Hat Dude

#58 Are Your Friends Hassling You To Have A Big One Tonight? But You’re Feeling A Little Too Dilapidated Castle... Why Not Stay In And Relax. You’ll Feel A Lot Less Overgrown And Smelling Like Something Died Inside You Tomorrow Morning

#59 The Empire Sets Back

#60 The Correct Amount Of Massively Over-Scaled Balcony Addition

#61 Heritage Hard Drive Moderne

#62 Wavy Flagstone Spaceship Accountancy Surfshop Conference Centre Moderne

#63 Life Can Sometimes Feel Like You Are Dragging Yourself Up A Hill Sideways Wearing A Heavily Monotoned Concrete Render Suit Weighed Down By A Massively Oversized Entry Portico

#64 Wonky De-Chopped Sandwiched Double Setbacked Hard Drive Second Hand Business Suit Robot Moderne

#65 The Best Amount Of Arches

#66 Mix N' Match Tiny Hamptons Picnic Time Active Wear Tracksuit Pants Moderne

#67 In N' Out Under Over-Deconstructionism-Ness

#68 Animal Print Is A Neutral

#69 Sometimes The Biggest Risks We Take Are Those We Take With Our Hearts. Our Canopies. And All Those Other Bits. Everywhere

#70 Exactly Correctly The Precise Amount Of Just A Bit Too Much Of Not Enough Of The Least Amount Of What Was Required... There

#71 Like A Putrid Chocolate Milkshake

#72 Dude... You’re Looking Really Tired

#73 Colonel Pistachio’s Tudor Turrets Raise Up My Peppermint Helicopter Roller Disco Roundabout

#74 Maison De La Triple Ripple Elongated Bo Beep Mansard Fairy Prairy Princess A La Lovingly Tended White Rose Promendade

#75 My Mate Dave Has A Tyreless-Less Devotion To His Front Garden

#76 Are You Struggling To Go Beyond One Word Descriptors For Fugly Houses You Encounter?

#77 In Life, Most Things Are Half As Good As You Think They’ll Be 50% Of The Time

#78 When It's Only Wednesday But Your Column Just Thinking 'Bout The Weekend

#79 When Your Dating Profile Said “Homely”, I Didn’t Think It Would Actually Mean “Massive, Vacant, And Covered In Tatts”

#80 Don’t Forget People... You’ve Only Got Til June 30 To Make Your Home Giraffe Ready